A promise ring is considered the pre-engagement ring, and it symbolizes love and commitment to each other and the relationship. It is considered a stand-in ring that establishes the next level, and down the line will be an engagement.
I remembered being so thrilled to receive a promise ring from an ex-boyfriend for Valentine, it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. I was devastated when the relationship ended months later, and putting the ring away was one of the hardest things to do because it was the same as putting an end of the intended future and love we had hoped to share. After months of heartache and adjusting to being on my own, I decided to get myself my own promise ring and take my personal relationship to the next level.
One of my biggest flaws, when it comes to relationships, is I tried to place all of my affections and love on my partner hoping for the same in return, but I realized that I was having too many expectations towards them. When these expectations weren’t met, I questioned if I was being a good girlfriend, if you are doing enough then he should be giving you more attention, if you give in more time and resources, then maybe he would pick up on it and grow up to be the person you are looking for, I said. It was an endless cycle of compensating, and people outside of the relationship would always think that I was doing too much. But I was the guilty one for demanding too much from a person. And honestly, I was looking for someone to love and protect me unconditionally, something I never thought I was capable of doing on my own.
Yet God has already equipped me with everything I needed to confront my insecurities and to grow.
During my reflection times, I prayed more and opened more to my close friends, and admitted my flaws of having too many expectations for others. I relied heavily on my faith as I studied scriptures about God being the resource for everything in this world. I realized these flaws have been dwelling in my heart for a long time, yet God has already equipped me with everything I needed to confront them and to grow from them. And I think a promise ring was a commitment to pour into myself and love myself instead of seeking fulfillment from another person.
I want to pursue myself wholeheartedly, loving myself fully so that one day I hope to finally have the confidence that is needed to maintain a healthy relationship in the future.
It’s funny how I was always ready to show commitment to my work, relationships, and school, but actually waited this long to show that commitment to myself. So I started shopping around for a ring. I came across the Pandora website and found a simple band made of sterling silver for $50. It came 2 weeks later, and I decided to save it until February 14th to unwrap, as a way to “treat myself” ^.^. It was the ring of my dream, it was simple, elegant, and beautiful. I wrapped it up, wrote a card, and bought myself some chocolate, and I opened it on Valentine’s Day.
Wearing the ring the first time was emotional, I was filled with joy and happiness. My heart has never been so full, as I finally decided to choose myself. I realized, like any relationships, personal relationships will always have ups and downs, but I’m learning every day how to be raw and vulnerable with my own feelings, I’m confident that I will blossom into my full potential.
Lastly, I want to pursue myself wholeheartedly, loving myself fully so that one day I hope to finally have the confidence that is needed to maintain a healthy relationship in the future. As for now, I hope to share more of my personal journey and adventures with you.
Thank you for reading ^.^